Adventure Shaq 3/5/96

Adventure Shaq

3/5/96
Copyright © 2001 Ray Hebert


This one is a culmination of many Shaq stories that happened over his two week vacation.

Shaq and I arranged for some interviews in the great NorthWest, so off we went. Since we had interviews in several cities and wanted to visit friends we decided to drive. Shaq had a good time and loves staying in hotels, Super 8 is his favorite. He does not like Motel 6, as the bed was not to his liking.

Shaq is Speed Racer
When we got to Montana, home of the reasonable and prudent speed limit, Shaq insisted that we see what the old Honda could do. So at his insistence we jacked it up to 100 (MPH for you Metric types) and put on the cruise control. This was not enough for him, coming out of Big Timber he wanted to see what we could do. The speed Ometer registered 130 as the max, and we buried the gage for a couple of miles. He was satisfied and we brought the speed back down to 100.

Coming out of Billings we came up on a line of cars going 65. Shaq was perplexed and wanted to get to the front of the line to find out what was up. So we weaved our way to the front and low and behold there was a Trooper going 65 and no one wanted to pass him. So we pulled up along side, Shaq looked at him gave him the smile and told me to get on with it. So we waved at the nice Trooper, who laughed and waved back and off we went driving 100. I looked in the rear view mirror and still no one would pass this guy. Shaq thought they were all a bunch of wooses, I agreed and off we went.

I tell you it is really nice to drive the 185 miles from the border of Wyoming to Bozeman in an hour 45 rather than 3 hours.

The Horn Dog
Our first stop was home in Bozeman. I being out of Schmidt beer had to stop over at Terry Johnson’s house and get my Beer level back up. Shaq had been two days in the car and was ready to play. So he was first out of the car.

Choco was waiting for him. She had just gone out of heat, but had all the great smells. Shaq was in heaven. Choco was playing hard to get. Shaq, like any self respecting male, did not know when to quit. So he got snapped at. This did not deter him in the least bit he still kept trying to mount her and she kept snapping at him.

After a while Choco just set down. Figuring that Shaq could not get at her if she was seated. So Shaq proceeded to try to impress her with his leaping ability. He would get real low on all fours with his tail going 100 MPH and then leap up and sideways and land back in a crouch. This did not work. He tried the hypnotic eyes, no luck she just would not have anything to do with him. Finally he gave up. Took three days though.

Sailing Shaq
I had a couple of Interviews in Portland, and since Land Tech had just bought a sail boat we went over to check it out and see what a fine investment Terry had made. So off we went. It is a great boat, 41 foot Morgan Out Islander. An Ocean Cruising Sail Boat that easily sleeps 7, can be sailed solo and is almost all Teak inside.

Shaq was not sure what to think. We arrived and he jumped in. First there was the steep stairs that he could not just walk down. He figured out how to jump down and how to jump up. Next came the sailing part. We took it out. I kept him below decks until we were out of the docks and down the river a ways.

Portland is on the Columbia River and it is a good day sail to the mouth, but the river is over 3 miles wide in places so we can sail right on it with out any problem.

When I let him up he was not sure what was happening. He looked out of the cockpit and saw we were moving so he assumed we must be in a car. Nope no car. He looked around no land either. He gently got out of the cockpit and up on deck and walked around. We hit a small wave that rocked the boat. He went down on all fours not sure what had happened. As a safety precaution I put him in a harness and put him on a safety line on the mast. This way he could get everywhere, but just in case he went over board I could get him quickly.

After a while he enjoyed sailing and was always giving instructions for more speed. Trim the main, put up the racing jib, lay it over, go go go. Such a demanding skipper.

Convertible Shaq
Terry’s daughter Sally (the SallyMander) lives in Portland and has this great 67 Pontiac WildCat Convertible. She is a unique person, with a stud in her tongue. Shaq was fascinated by it, but was to polite to say anything.

She drove us out to the coast one great day when it was over 75. Shaq loved it. Here was a car that he could get wind in his face just by sitting in the back seat. He loved it. He got in the middle and let his ears flop away. We drove out to Cannon Beach for a Pizza. When we got to town all these people were just staring at him and he just gave them all the non chelaunt look of Oh I do this everyday. What a ham.

Tired Shaq
On the way home Shaq slept the whole way. I had to prod him out of the car at rest stops to use the bathroom and eat. He was so tired from two weeks of playing. Today he is still recovering.

Cheers to all
Ray & Shaq