Jumpy Shaq
12/30/95Copyright © 2001 Ray Hebert
Since it was raining and miserable outside and no one wanted to go to a movie I decided to play with Shaq. Of course playing with Shaq makes up a good portion of my time so this was nothing new.
Since the weather was bad we played inside. I started by getting on all fours and pushing him around with my head. This gets him feisty. He likes to squeeze under my belly and between my arms when I am on all fours. Every now and then I pick him up and flip him upside down and scoot him along the floor. This really pisses him off. So we play like this for a while. He loves it. Then of course he get horny and tries to hump me. That is when this game stops.
Next I sit on the sofa and throw the tennis ball for him. Now we all know what the tennis ball does to Shaq. If playing on the floor gets him worked up the tennis ball drives him crazy. We were playing well. I would throw and he would bring it back and sit right in front of me and drop the ball. All was well. I was watching the Outer Limits Special and was not really paying attention to him. I would throw and he would bring. Well once I threw and I heard him get it and come barreling back in the room. This should have been a clue to look up. I didn't. Next thing I know 75 pounds of puppy is hurling itself at me and there is nothing I can do. I am body slammed into the back of the sofa. I bend over with my wind knocked out of me. I am furious and laughing at the same time. Of course I can't breath at this time either.
While I am bent over and helpless Shaq takes the opportunity to jump on my back and hump away. I never knew I exuded feminine qualities to the extent that my Dog would be infatuated with me. I can think of any number of people I would rather have infatuated with me. But for some reason my Dog is not one of them.
I think I need to get Shaq laid soon. If anyone knows of a doggy brothel I would appreciate it.
Cheers
Ray & (Sexually Frustrated) Shaq
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