Humpy Shaq 12/22/95

Humpy Shaq

12/22/95
Copyright © 2001 Ray Hebert


Not sure what they are putting in tennis balls these days, but it sure gets Shaq worked up.

Every morning we play fetch. Since it has been a bit cold we have been playing inside, and since I want to stay warm I want to throw from bed. Now to achieve this we must use a tennis ball. This is so I can bank it off the bedroom door and propel it down the hallway where if I do it right it will hit off another wall and goes into the living room. 1 out of 10 does this. But Shaq loves chasing any of them.

I will be sitting in bed watching the news (yes I have a TV in my room, and a VCR, don’t you?) when Shaq comes barreling in with a Tennis Ball. Now most dogs will jump on the bed. Not Shaq he hurls himself on the bed. Take off is a couple of steps inside the door and the landing point is the bed. I am on the bed, which makes this a bit adventuresome because you never know exactly where he will land and when he lands how long will it take him to stop. There are times that he has landed right on top of me, others where he lands on his side of the bed but cannot stop and smacks the wall and once where I heard him coming and threw a blanket up in the air as he jumped. This freaked him out and he was not happy.

Back to the theme of the story. The last few days I have been sitting in bed playing catch, but when Shaq returns the ball he has been hurling himself on the bed, dropping the ball and trying to hump me. Now I don’t know about you but being humped by a dog is not exactly what I fantasize about in the morning. At night maybe or in the afternoon but not in the morning. He only try’s to hump me when we are playing with the tennis ball (is it a fuzzy ball thing?) not when we are playing with the retrieving dummy, his bone or his tug o war rope. Only with the Tennis ball. I tried using different tennis balls but no luck all tennis balls make Shaq a horny boy.

So now I know when it is time for Shaq to do the deed for cash I need to make sure the other dog has a tennis ball for him to play with. Sort of Shaq foreplay technique. I’m sure each of you have something that turns you on. For Shaq it happens to be a Tennis Ball.

Happy Humping and keep those tennis balls handy if you really want to get someone aroused.

Cheers
Ray & Shaq